RolePlaying
by Lexmarker
Summary: Just another day with our favorite hosts. You know, twins being suggestive, Kyouya being a bastard, Mori and Honey just doing their candy and stoic routine, and Tamaki playing with Haruhi. Well, let's see what happens when Haruhi decides to play along...
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I own a lot of things, but sadly, not Ouran High School Host Club.

Role-playing

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It was another fine day in Ouran High School for the Fiscally Gifted when a certain abandoned music room once more erupted with the melodramatic stylings of a certain golden haired King.

"Oh, Haruhi, my sweet daughter!!! Why do you resent your father so?!" Tamaki wailed, his hand clutching his chest as he swooned to and fro in the brightly decorated Host room.

"I don't resent my father at all, senpai. You on the other hand, I have no problem disliking." Haruhi calmly admonished, slightly irritated that the Suoh heir had gone into a class three tantrum over her lack of appreciation over a stuffed unicorn he brought her.

"Mother, our daughter's growth as a woman is stunted, shriveled like a raisin in the sun! Where did we go wrong?!" Tamaki bawled, hugging the unicorn tightly to his chest as he railed against the calculating Vice President.

The rest of the Club was preoccupied with after-hosting cleanup, basically consisting of Mori moving chairs as Honey "cleaned up" the last plates of pastries and the twins going on about some new game, video or girl-related, and Kyouya finishing up the day's budget. No one really paid much attention to Tamaki's outbursts nowadays, though the twins weren't that far removed to add fuel to the King's fire.

"Well, Tono, it seems as if your daughter isn't interested in toys…" Kaoru began, one leg dangling from the sofa's arm.

"… because she's growing up and leaving the nest…" Hikaru ended, and the twins sniggered as the Frenchman's face exploded like a well erupting volcano.

As Tamaki gasped for air and went on about ungrateful children, Haruhi couldn't help but sigh as she picked up the teacups from her table.

"Honestly, Hikaru, Kaoru. I don't see why you always have to do that to him. It's annoying enough how he gets in these kinds of situations." the chocolate-eyed girl muttered, rolling up her sleeves as she began wiping down the table.

"How I _get_? What is that supposed to mean, Haruhi?" Tamaki whined, running his palm through his soft golden locks, switching from ardor to arrogance.

"Well, it's just that act you always put on, senpai. It really isn't becoming of you to go on like that at your age." Haruhi stated matter-of-factly, another honest admission that, unbeknownst to her, would lead to a rather interesting reaction from the theatrical prince.

"What do you mean, Haruhi? I always act accordingly to the manners and expectations of someone born and bred in my social standing." Tamaki replied, pulling out his sparkly million dollar smile and a rose from his breast pocket, his charm oozing out from every inch of his person.

"That. That right there is a perfect example of what I mean. Your 'God's gift to women' tirade and all the gesticulating. Don't you ever get tired of always playing that character?" Haruhi said bluntly, wholeheartedly believing all that she said.

"Character? I assure you, madam, that all you see is my bare heart. Would this face, rightly given by God, ever lie to you?" Tamaki smirked, striking another pose, flower petals streaming behind him from an unknown source.

"Please, Tamaki-senpai. As much a I am amazed by the way you carry your façade on for an extended amount of time, you don't honestly expect me to believe that this is your true personality." Haruhi scoffed, turning back to her tray, setting it on the tea trolley.

Now, most of the time, this argument would have died within a few moments, but that was mostly due to the fact that either Haruhi or the Twins would change the subject to another point that would occupy the King's attention. However, as most of the other Host Club members seemed to be absorbed in their own tasks, there were no buffers to redirect Tamaki's focus on Haruhi's line of thought, and he went on with his defense against Haruhi's attack on his character.

"Tsk tsk tsk, Haruhi-chan. To your simple commoner senses, this might appear to be an extravagant show of my higher upbringing as you see on your 'soup-Oprahs'. alas, I am truthful at all times, as years of etiquette and polite society have molded me to be!" Tamaki laughed haughtily, and Haruhi could almost see the rich bastard float on his inflated ego.

That last comment made something snap inside Haruhi. Nothing big, really, but just her irritation that this idiot would never understand that his flamboyancy was something _beyond_ the scale of human understanding made her adamant about her position.

"Oh, as if it's so hard to act in such a frivolous and garish manner, senpai?" Haruhi replied with a bit of an edge, turning from her cart to the gesturing blonde.

"Oh, Haruhi, thou art a blossom to be cherished and loved, and I am just the gardener to do so!" Haruhi, in a break of character, proclaimed loudly, her hands extended and her eyes bright and shining in an attempt to mimic her senpai's own ostentatious mannerisms.

"Is.. Is that supposed to be _me_?" Tamaki gasped, in utter disbelief that _anyone_ (outside of the Hitachiin twins, at least) would dare mock him, especially not his dear, sweet Haruhi.

That last outburst of indignation definitely caught the attention of the rest of the club, however, and as the twin's smirks grew wider and Honey (with cake in mouth) switched from seat to seat for a better view, Kyouya and Mori silently noted that this wasn't a regular Haruhi/Tamaki spat. Mostly due to the fact that Haruhi was actively participating in the childish behavior.

"Well, at least _I _show emotions." Tamaki sniffed, sitting on a couch in imitation of Haruhi's own conduct, placing a finger on his chin. "Romance? What's that, senpai?" He stated with an innocent voice, and though to most people this would appear as an adorable homage to Haruhi's own character as a host, inwardly, this made the girl's blood boil.

"No woman can resist my charms! What girl can possibly hate an egotistical ignoramus?" Haruhi smiled, placing a hand on her chest as she made a palm to the heavens, stars still in her eyes, and pulling of a convincing, though unflattering, performance.

"Study at home, study at school, study in the bathroom. What do I do for fun? Study _is_ fun!" Tamaki replied, not to be outdone, pointing to his forehead, heartfelt in his portrayal.

The twins could barely contain their laughter, for fear that the two 'thespians' might realize what they were doing, and Honey watched like a child to a puppet show, thoroughly engrossed as he shoveled spoon after spoon of cake in his mouth. Even Mori and Kyouya couldn't help but smile at the two's antics.

"Overcompensating? I know not the meaning of the word. As far as I am concerned, I _under-_compensate!" Haruhi scoffed, running her fingers through her hair as her free hand waved in circles.

"Fashion sense? Who needs that when you have Calculus and Physics?" Tamaki said with horror, as if the very fact disgusted him.

"Do you like my hair? I spent as much as your car on stylists!"

"Why, yes, I would like to have a lobotomy. It would take care of that pesky little personality problem that I have!"

"Olympic sized pool? Oh, you must mean the duck pond!"

"I'd sell my soul for ootori!"

As the exchange went on, the rest of the Host Club could only watching morbid fascination as the exchange degraded into an all out shouting match, Haruhi shouting up to Tamaki with clenched fists, the Prince drawing himself to full height. It was as if months of tension finally slipped through the already faulty dams of their self-control. The two of them probably don't even realize what they're saying to each other anymore!

"Self-centered idiot!"

"Androgynous harlot!"

It was as if it were a scene from a bad Rumiko Takahashi anime, and the High School students slowly began to inch away from the two screaming hosts.

"TASTLESS GIGOLO!!!"

"VILE TEMPTRESS!!!"

The two finally stopped, their faces inches from each other's as sweat poured from their faces and their breaths became ragged and labored.

"You are so fucking hot…"

"God, you're the most beautiful women I've ever met…"

And with that, Haruhi and Tamaki finally let their passions take them, the two teens wrapping their arms around each other, sharing the most passionate kiss ever seen on Ouran High School grounds. They were nothing more than hungry animals, hormones, lust, and honest-to-goodness love driving them as they sought to steal the very essence of their partners for their lips.

If Haruhi or Tamaki actually cared for anyone other than the person in their arms, they would have noticed that Kaoru, Hikaru, Honey, Mori, and Kyouya had fainted dead away, their brains on overload over what had just happened.

And thus, another day in the Life of the Ouran High School Host Club came to an end.

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Author's Note:

Mmm hmm, that's the fic. I like it. Grossly out of character, but whatever., it warmed my cockles. So, maybe I'll actually get off my ass an update "A Clean Slate". You never know. The reason why is cuz I'm busy with my web comic The AC (shameless plug) , so give it a visit.


	2. A question

-I'm thinking about making another HaruXTama-fic. Would you guys be interested in reading something like that?

-Lexmarker


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